A County Christmas Tale
by hinky doodle
Summary: Just a silly story based on season 14 spoilers.  Neela and Dubenko What could go wrong with a little holiday pageant?


_Author's Note: This story is inspired by some spoilers for the 300__th__ episode, but only those involving Neela, Dubenko and a surgical intern in the episode's teaser (The bit that comes before the first commercial break). _

It was freezing cold. Snowing. And her beard itched. Neela rolled her eyes as she wondered again how she managed to be talked into this…ridiculous holiday activity. She was sitting on top of a camel wearing a long gray robe and an even longer beard. She was also wedged between her intern and her department chief who both looked equally ridiculous in their wise men costumes.

Lucien nudged her with his knee and whispered to her to stop fidgeting. She whispered back more harshly for him to bugger off. What happened to the Christmases where she and Abby would play Santa's helpers in the middle of the night and deliver toys to children in the ER? Or even, oh God why was she wishing for this, patients taunting her and the other female doctor to kiss under the mistletoe? Even last year's lonely phone call to London was better than this, she thought to herself as she lifted a hand to scratch at her chin. This beard really itched.

County was putting on a live nativity scene this year. Complete with animals. There were sheep milling about, this bloody camel (and it smelled by the way) and even a chicken pecking at the hay-lined ground. Of course there were other doctors and nurses dressed in costume as well. Someone from pediatrics was a Shepard. She recognized an ER nurse as Mary. Most of these people she barely knew, however. Except for her fellow camel-sitters, and right now she felt that she knew the two surgeons a bit too well. Lucien's hands kept squeezing her around the middle and she had to fight the urge to slap them away. And Harold, every time the young man shifted he either elbowed her in the chest or shoved a shoulder into her nose.

Suddenly, Neela was thankful for Harold's shoulder as she heard a passerby, a small child by the sounds of it; comment on their dress rehearsal, "That's not Christmas. Where's Santa Claus and the reindeer?"

She hid her laughter as she shook against the intern's back. Lucien kneed her again. She finally gave in and reached back to swat the man. "Bugger off!"

The camel seemed to have similar feelings, whether it was just an ill-tempered beast or it had had enough of their antics, Neela didn't know but the beast chose then to get to it's feet. In the shaky process, a startled Harold fell off with a thud while both Neela and Lucien held on for dear life. "Whoa, nice...camel" She tried to reason.

Lucien was reaching around her, fumbling for the reins Harold was no longer manning. "Do they respond like horses?"

"How should I bloody know?"

"I don't…"

He was interrupted as the camel's actions were causing more than its riders to panic. Everyone on the ground was yelling and offering suggestions, or merely getting out of the way. None of it was helping. In fact it seemed to frighten the dromedary and he bolted, causing Neela and Lucien to both scream in fright.

"I do not want to die on a camel! On Christmas Eve!" Neela shouted as her beard flew up and obscured her view of the street. She could hear people cheering and car horns honking however and it only made things worse.

"Whoa…please whoa?" That was Lucien, trying to stay calm.

They were approaching the ambulance bay at this point and Neela was pushing the faux gray hair away from her face. "Oh God…we will never live this down."

The camel seemed to find the bay an acceptable place to stop but he refused to lay down again, leaving them stranded atop its back. Lucien seemed to be trying to judge the distance to the ground as he leaned to one side, holding onto Neela for support. "I'll get down and then I can catch you."

"What if it decides to go for another stroll?"

"Think positively?"

He swung one leg over the camel and carefully slide down it's flank to the ground. His robed and beard askew, making him look even more absurd as he held his arms up to Neela. "Come on, I'll catch you."

'You better." She wasn't sure if she trusted him to. "This is all your fault, you know."

"I thought it would be fun. Holiday spirit and all."

"Next year just hand out candy canes."

"Scrooge."

"Sikh."

"Come on, Neela."

She finally gave in and with an uttered curse, hopped off the camel's back and into Lucien's arms. "Wanker."

"You're welcome." He started to smile as he put her down, only his face froze then contorted into an expression of pain as the camel lowered its head and bit the senior surgeon on the leg.

Neela gasped in shock, then a moment later reacted, slipping an arm around her boss to help keep him upright. Harold, out of breath from chasing them, came into the bay at that point and before he could stop to get his breath Neela was barking orders at him to go get help. She groaned, all ready able to hear Frank asking "Is that a…"

------------------

Neela had never been more grateful for a pair of scrubs or multiple traumas than she was that night. It kept the teasing down to a minimum. She was also forced to admit that she was glad Lucien's bite was superficial and little more than his pride had been hurt. In fact, she offered him a smile as the shift wound to and end and they were both headed out the double doors of the ER.

"How's your leg?"

"Sore."

"Who knew camels found surgeons tasty?"

"Don't start, Rasgotra."

"Oh, so now I'm Rasgotra?"

"My leg hurts."

"At least you didn't have to cross-dress."

"No but…"

Their playful conversation came to a halt as they walked into the bay and saw the camel, still standing there, effectively blocking their exit to the El platform. It made some sort of braying noise at them and both surgeons took an involuntary step backwards.

"Do you think it remembers us?"

"I don't want to find out."

"Want to go back inside and exit from the main lobby?"

"It's closer to Ike's."

"I could use a beer."

"Or three."

"I thought you were going to your sister's?"

"And have to explain to her that I was almost eaten by a camel? No."

Neela shook her head at him and gently tugged on his hand until he followed her back into the ER. "Maybe you should stop drinking so much wheat grass."

"What?"

"You are what you eat, Lucien. I'm just saying…"

"I get what you are saying. Shut up or I'm not buying."

"Scrooge."

"Surgeon."


End file.
